A photo satire of the infamous A4e owned by Emma Harrison, who have been contracted by the government to run the Flexible New Deal (FND)program for the long-term unemployed in the UK. A4e will soon be running the workfare program entitled The Work Programme due to start mid 2011

Libya protestors confirm A4e R Shite - Photo Exclusive

Libya protestors confirm A4e R Shite - Photo Exclusive
A Libyan opposition protestor was snapped during a demonstration in Benghazi by our Middle East correspondent carrying a placard which read "A4e R Shite". Despite not even having any offices in Libya it appears A4e's reputation has spread far and wide.

Emma Harrison - 2008 Sunday Times Rich List

Emma Harrison - 2008 Sunday Times Rich List
A4e has an annual turnover of some GBP 100m of which GBP 2 million is net profit. The company is owned by Emma Harrison and she is ranked at 1794 on the 2008 Sunday Times Rich List with an estimated wealth of £40 million, with some estimates put it as high GBP 80 million. She lives at Thornbridge Hall, a 100-acre country estate in Derbyshire which she paid GBP 5 million for in 2002.

A4e Emma Harrison on Crimewatch

A4e Emma Harrison on Crimewatch
Have you seen this woman? She uses the name Emma Harrison, and is known to visit jobcentres all over the UK, where she offers jobseekers non-existent training courses as part of the taxpayer funded New Deal program. Once a jobseeker has signed up, they usually find themselves held virtual prisoner in an overcrowded A4e office with very little facilities for up to 13 weeks and, in some cases 26 weeks. She sometimes works works with a male accomplice named David Blunkett, who claims to be an MP. She has friends in the Sheffield area but could be anywhere in the UK. if you see her or know her wherabouts contact Crimewatch immediatley

Emma Harrison The Secret Millionaire

Emma Harrison The Secret Millionaire
Emma Harrison, disguised a chav, visited A4e Glasgow undercover in The Secret Millionaire

Emma Harrison shows Gordon Hitler

Emma Harrison shows Gordon Hitler
Gordon Hitler looks unimpressed with Emma Harrison's solution to long-term unemployment in the UK

A4e Army

A4e Army
You've heard of Dads Army, well meet the A4e Army commanded by CEO Mark Lovell AKA Captain Calamity. Watch as they lurch from one embarrassing New Deal scandal to the next. A Taxpayer Production. One furious old soldier, on hearing of the A4e Army said " I didn't fight and die in two world wars to see my taxes being wasted on a shower of money-grabbing incompetents"

A4e Circus Placement

A4e Circus Placement
A4e are proud to announce an exciting new range of placement opportunities to jobseekers on the Flexible Old New Deal. They still offer the old favourites like a placement in Poundland and charity shops for the less adventurous jobseeeker . But one eager young jobseeker bitterly regretted asking A4e for a placement in a circus

A4e Flexible New Deal Information Tour Escape

A4e Flexible New Deal Information Tour Escape
Lunch time shoppers in Hull today witnessed the arrival of the A4e Flexible New Deal No Hope roadshow. However, the A4e No Hope VW camper van proved too much for one unemployed Hull man who was seen to make a dramatic escape after being lured inside by Emma Harrison who promised him free training. He must have remembered her from the Benefit Busters series on Ch4. We wish him well after his lucky escape,

A4e Flexible New Deal Poster Campaign

A4e Flexible New Deal Poster Campaign
A MESSAGE FROM PRIME MINISTER GORDON BROWN: "Unemployed Britons your country needs you to sign up for the Flexible New Deal workfare program. We must rid our once glorious country from the scourge of mass long-term unemployed. Report to your nearest A4e camp Monday morning at 9 am for brainwashing. Rememeber, you are making the ultimate sacrifice of missing daytime TV so future generations can live in a land of the employed. So switch off Jermy Kyle, put down that can of White Lightening, and leave the baseball bat - there won't be enough room at A4e to swing it anyway"

DANGER: A4e Propaganda

DANGER:  A4e Propaganda
Beware of the almost constant stream of A4e propaganda portraying them as respectable and charitable, they're greedy and manipulative. Far from improving the lives of the UK unemployed, the reverse is true in most cases. If your unemployed and the jobcentre informs you have been allocated to A4e on some job program, refuse to attend. Contact your MP, make a fuss. Do whatever you can, within reason, to avoid A4e

A4e Reveal Flexible New Deal Jobseeker Model

A4e Reveal  Flexible New Deal Jobseeker Model
Infamous A4e have unveiled what they believe will be the leading Flexible New Deal jobseeker model at their Sheffield head office. This new model is fully workfare compliant, He wants to work at Poundland for 20 hours a week,, and the rest of the time he will do a placement in a charity shop. Jobcentre bosses are hopeful that new model jobseeker, due to be rolled out in October 2009, will inspire other jobseekers.

Wise Group sub-contract Flexible New Deal contract to A4e

Wise Group sub-contract Flexible New Deal contract to A4e
Glasgow based charity Wise Group have sub-contracted their Edinburgh Flexible New Deal contract to infamous A4e. Only time will tell if this is a match made in heaven? So Edinburgh now has two FND providers: Ingeus and A4e. And in theory, the unemployed should now be given a choice of which provider they wish to do their Flexible New deal program with? if the jobcentre force you to attend A4e you should ask for an explanation in writing of why you haven't been given a choice of provider. And if you are unhappy with the explanation contact your MP

A4e Overcrowding

A4e Overcrowding
A4e offices in the UK are notorious for overcrowding, it's been like that for years. Funny how they always seem to get away with it?

A4e World Domination

A4e World Domination
A4e have offices throughout the UK, as well as France, Germany, Poland, Jerusalem, South Africa and Australia. They want to take over the world, and Turkey could be next

A4e Salaries Are Secret

A4e Salaries Are Secret
Ever wondered what A4e owner Emma Harrison and CEO Mark Lovell pay themsleves? Me too, unfortunately you can't find out because A4e are a private company and exempt from the 2000 Freedom on Information Act. Since A4e is funded by the taxpayer to run the new Deal program I think we should have a right to know what they pay themselves

A4e Skills Training

A4e Skills Training
This is the kind of thing that A4e think of as skills training. When I attended A4e Edinburgh in 2008 the only course on offer was the European Computer Driving Licence (ECDL, nothing wrong with that but not everyone wants to work with computers. If our government were really committed to giving the long-term unemployed proper skills and choice, why don't they they give them a training allowance which can be used at colleges and other establishments which offer proper courses, qualified tutors and a recognized qualifications instead of giving taxpayers money to a cowboy outfit like A4e.

A4e Public Drinking Information Campaign

A4e Public Drinking Information Campaign
Ladies; If you drink too much in public places you might lose your job, and if you don't get another one you might end up at A4e. So say NO to drink, and say NO to A4e. This is a public information campaign

Job search room at A4e

Job search room at A4e
A typical day in the Job Search room at A4e. The job search room at A4e Edinburgh consisted of about 10 computers, and two printers, along two sides of the room. The rest of the room was occupied by tables with jobseekers sat around all four sides of the tables. You have to see it to fully appreciate just how cramped it could get with overcrowding occuring most days

Stampede at A4e Sheffield

Stampede at A4e Sheffield
Paramedics today treated a jobseeker on the New Deal program at A4e Sheffield. The jobseeker, who wishes to remain anonymous, said a tutor blew a whistle evey morning at 9.45 for the daily race from reception to the job search room two floors above. She added, normally it is incident free, but this morning she tripped and was trampled by her classmates eager to be the first to use the computer. An A4e spokesperson refused to comment on the incident other than to say a full investigation would be carried out.

A4e Conveyor Belt

A4e Conveyor Belt
"Your never too old for a placement, you don't look a day over 70. "Come on, shift yourself, we need your chair for next week's intake".

A4e Hull Fraud

A4e Hull Fraud
At the Hull office of A4e they like to say yes, oh yes!, oh yes!

A4e Advertise Financial Director Vacancy

A4e Advertise Financial Director Vacancy
JOBCENTRE: "A4e have got a vacancy for a Financial Director. Have you got GCSE Maths?"

Jobseekers at A4e Leeds get new biro

Jobseekers at A4e Leeds get new biro
Rumours had been rife for months amongst jobseekers on the New Deal program at A4e Leeds that they would be getting a new biro. Older experienced New Deal clients who'd been at A4e Leeds before dismissed such rumours. But the younger clients weren't so sure, their tutors assured them that they really would be getting a new biro, they just didn't tell them it would be one new biro to be shared between all the clients.

A4e New Deal 'Zombies' Shocker

A4e  New Deal 'Zombies' Shocker
After 13 weeks of New Deal torture at A4e many of the unemployed will emerge even more depressed and more cynical than when they started the program. And now Gordon Hitler and the new Labour government want to waste even more taxpayers money by replacing the New Deal with the Flexible New Deal and extend it from 13-weeks to one year. Effectively, this is workfare i.e. working for your benefit. This is known as the Anglo Saxon economic model

A4e Lincoln New Deal Zombie Shocker!

A4e Lincoln New Deal Zombie Shocker!
Despite denials from the DWP it can now be officially revealed that Grantham has been under attack from Zombies. Our brave journalist followed a trail of dsmembered bodies from Grantham town centre which lead up the A1 to A4e in Lincoln. An A4e spokersperson denied they were responsible for the carnage occuring in Grantham, but admiited that the 13-week New Deal course may have something to do with it. Quite why these A4e New Deal zombies from Lincoln converge on Grantham is unknown. We can also exclusively reveal that David Blunkett MP was the victim of an unprovoked zombie attack while shopping in a Tesco store in Grantham yesterday, in which he lost an ear . He was rushed to hospital in a shopping trolley (since no ambulance was avilable) and doctors are confident the ear can be sewn back if they can only find it in time and he doesn't have to wait longer than six weeks for the operation.

A4e Transport

A4e Transport
It's not like Emma Harrison to splash out on such an expensive vehicle like this. Must be used for some sort of PR roadshow

A4e Escape Manual

A4e Escape Manual
The book that jobseekers on the New Deal at A4e have been waiting for, an escape manual. The manual contains information on how to organise an escape committee, full-colour escape maps, true stories of successul escapes from A4e. And how to live off the land once you'e escaped and how to obtain a new identity. Armageddon Out Of A4e by Dick Tator will be a jobseeker bestseller in 2009. So get down to your nearest bookshop and pick up a copy before it's sold out

David Blunkett MP Loadsamoney

David Blunkett MP Loadsamoney
David Blunkett MP accepts cash and cheques

Boxing News: A4e v Serco

Boxing News: A4e v Serco
Infamous A4e and less infamous Serco go head-to-head for a share of the lucrative UK welfare to workfare Flexible New Deal heavyweight government contracts. Will old experienced A4e KO the upstart FTSE 100 company and grab the biggest share of the workfare cake? The bell sounds for Round 1: Blunkett comes flying out of his corner heading for Filkin, fists flying wildly hoping to catch his Lordship with a lucky punch. His Lordshop ducks, and displays some nifty footwork which defies his age, as he waltzes round the ring and avoids being hit by the flurry of blows coming from the pursuing and panting Blunkett. Filkin, realising he can't continue being chased round the ring by Blunkett, stops dead, turns, and aims a left cross which catches Blunkett off guard, and makes contact with his temple. Blunkett looks dazed and sways. The crowd cheers wildly, they're not so much fans of Serco and Flikin but delighted to see anyone beat A4e. Will this fight go to round 2 or is Blunkett finished?

Lord Filkin of Serco KOs A4e Bunkett in Round 1 Shocker

Lord Filkin of Serco KOs A4e Bunkett in Round 1 Shocker
The world of Flexible New Deal heavyweight workfare contracts was left stunned following the shock defeat of Blunkett of A4e at the hands of Lord Filkin of Serco in a Round 1 knock-out. It was anticipated that A4e would make short work of the upstart FTSE 100 company in the bid for contracts. Blunkett, although younger, was no match for the flying fists and nifty footwork of Lord Filkin of Serco. With only seconds to go before the end of Round 1 his lordship landed a right cross which connected with Blunkett's left cheek with a loud thud, sending him spinning backwards only to hit the canvas from which he never got up within the 10 count. His Lordship was hoisted aloft by his trainer, the crowd cheered ecstatically.

David Blunkett -The Sheffield Stallion - visits A4e

David Blunkett -The Sheffield Stallion - visits A4e
The Sheffield Stallion, David Blunkett MP, visits A4e Sheffield determined to confront Emma Bankblance and get the £30,000 owed to him. No ASBO, no court order can stop him

Blunkett shock resignation from A4e

Blunkett shock resignation from A4e
David 'Gravy Train' Blunkett MP has left A4e. A tight lipped A4e spokesperson would not give any details other than to cofirm that Blunkett had left the company by mutual agreement. But it is widely believed that Blunkett left the controversial company following a dispute over an unapid GBP 30,000 annual salary

Emma Harrison on the benefits of A4e Placements

Emma Harrison on the benefits of  A4e Placements
Many A4e New Deal clients do not always see the point in taking an unapid work placement, especially when they know it will never became a full-time job as in the case of charity shops. On such occasions, Emma Harrison has found the right uppercut to be particularly effective, and with the more difficult clients this is swiftly followed by a left cross. On a more serious note, since placement organisations are benefitting from free labour they should at least provide lunch as part of the placement

Queen gets job on A4e New Deal course

Queen gets job on A4e New Deal course
Her Majesty the Queen can now be found working at a McDonalds fast-food restaurant next to Victoria station thanks to A4e. She visited A4e Nottingham to open the Slave Galley wing, which will be used by jobseekers on the Flexible New Deal from October 2009. However, Her Majesty expressed interest in experiencing the New Deal for herself. Staff at A4e, eager to oblige, got the Queen to complete the necessary Induction paperwork so she could be officially enrolled. After which, she opted to choose the Retail option, and was quickly fast-tracked to a work experience placement at McDonalds which lead to a full-time job. The last time the Queen had a job was during the war when she drove an ambulance

A4e Australia News: Emma welcomed Down Under

A4e Australia News: Emma welcomed Down Under

A4e China News

A4e China News
Five jobseeker on the New Deal program at A4e Beijing we're slightly injured today when an oversized portrait of the great leader fell off the wall in reception

A4e Computer News 2009

A4e Computer News 2009
A4e have spent GBP 50 on a new used computer. "Now only 5 jobseekers on the New Deal program will have to share one computer" said A4e boss Emma Bankbalance

A4e Beijing Placement News

A4e  Beijing  Placement  News
A4e Beijing are proud to confirm that unemployment in China has fallen 3 months in a row due to a very successful placement partnership with the Peoples Liberation Army. Chinese jobseekers on A4e's flagship Inflexible New Deal job program will soon have the opportunity to get an exciting placement with the Chinese Navy who are embarking on a extensive modernisation program of their fleet of First World War ex-German U-boats. A4e hope to trial the successful Chinese model in the UK where, despite bullying of jobseekers, unemployment continues to rise.

I Am A Fugitive From A4e

I Am A Fugitive From A4e
Gripping remake of the classic 1932 fim: I Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang. Dick Tator, plays Ed Case, a downtrodden jobseeker forced to attend infamous A4e on the Flexible New Deal workfare program. However, after a few days of humiliation at the hands of cruel A4e camp governor Emma Bankbalance, our timid hero finds the courage to escape the misery and become a fugitive from A4e.

A4e Glasgow Riot News

A4e Glasgow Riot News
Jobseekers on the Flxible New Deal program at maximum security A4e Glasgow have seized control of the office, and taken a number of hostages including Emma Bankblance (The Numpty).

A4e Leeds: Escape News Latest

A4e Leeds: Escape News Latest
Sentenced to a 10-year New Deal program by his local jobcentre, Clint Eastwood is determined to escape the hell of A4e Leeds. Despite the maximum security, and the threat of losing his JSA he's not going to take any more of the mind numbing tasks and form-filling bureacracy

A4e Manchester Escape News

A4e Manchester Escape News
300 jobseekers on the Flexible New Deal program at A4e Minshull Street have escaped after a 500 ft long tunnel was discovered in the basement of the flagship Manchester office early today. An unconfirmed report said the tunnel emerges on the set of popular TV soap Coronation Street. The news of this escape will come as a devestating blow for the Labour government's much trumpted flagship welfare to workfare program which replaces the old New Deal. Where the jobseekers got the tools from to dig a tunnel is unknown, but it is believed they were smuggled in during visiting hours. Pauline Hitler, manager of A4e Minshull Street, said a full investigation would be carried out. And a spokesperson for Granada TV said that tonight's showing of Coronation Street had been cancelled due to technical problems

A4e Placement News

A4e Placement News
Emma Harrison demonstrates how the unemployed can find employment as street entertainers

A4e Staff Uniform News

A4e Staff Uniform News
Emma Harrison today revealed the new A4e staff uniform. Staff will have a deduction made from their salary to cover the cost of the new uniforms, which are manufactured in China. Emma hopes that all staff will have their new uniforms by October - in time for the start of the new Flexible New Deal (FND) contract.

A4e Travel News

A4e Travel News
Rail passenger numbers are set to rocket following todays announcement that A4e had won a contract to run a railway. Industry experts say that with their extensive experience of overcrowding they anticipate A4e to make record profits in the first year of the contract

A4e New Deal Jobseeker Spring Sale

A4e New Deal Jobseeker Spring Sale
Our A4e superstores are overflowing with jobseekers on the New Deal program, we can't crowd anymore in - we've tried. And in order to make space for a flood of unemployed on the Flexible New Deal starting in October, we have decided to have a one-off Spring New Deal jobseeker SALE with up to 40% OFF. We have invested time and money making sure they are workfare compliant, the undesirable elements have already been weeded out and returned to the Jobcentre, so you won't get any troublemakers. Visit your nearest A4e superstore TODAY and pick up a jobseeker before they've all gone. And remember you can save up to 40% on our normal prices

Emma Harrison visits A4e Lincoln

Emma Harrison visits A4e Lincoln
Emma Harrsion, donned in riot gear, today paid a surprise visit to A4e Lincoln. Lincoln AKA Stalag Luft 17 by the New Deal clients was one of the A4e office featured on the BBC Radio 5 Donal McIntyre Investigates programme in April 2009. Lincoln, along with A4e Leeds were subject to a flood of complaints from New Deal clients about non-existent training courses, overcrowding and lack of computers. David, who also did the course in Lincoln, said: "The tutors were very stretched. You were basically herded into a room with a load of other people and left to your own devices." (source: Liverpool Echo)

Flexible New Deal Puppet Show News From A4e

Flexible New Deal Puppet Show News From A4e
Starting In October 2009 A4e will be getting a new delivery of jobseeker puppets for the Flexible New Deal. You will find jobseeker puppets performing at Poundland and other venues throughout the UK

Satisfied client thanks A4e

Satisfied client thanks A4e
Another satisfied client thanks A4e for 13 weeks of New Deal torture

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Thursday, 26 February 2009

11 comments:

  1. The photos are amazing and obviously express anarchist danger.
    One should ask why so much money is spent for A4e
    and why the British taxpayer condones so much waste of taxpayer money.
    May be there is really some sort of corruption involved in this save the unemployment scheme.
    How many of them were integrated in the working society so far?

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Might be of interest to you, New Deal Scandal has published the Multi-programme New Deal Contracts online @ http://www.newdealcontracts.co.uk/MultiProgramme/

    Feel free to register on the site to leave comments specifying whether you think your local provider has breached such contract in whole or part.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Exploitation of the poor,

    ReplyDelete
  5. Im actually on the A4e course right this split second, waste of time??? let me think . . . . . f+£k yeah!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. You are all c*nts

    ReplyDelete
  7. congratulations on the work you've put into this , it must have taken you days... when you could have been doing something to GET A LIFE....oh no hang on...sitting on your arse, slagging someone off...much better idea. SAD.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You have far too much time on you hands! Have you thought about getting a job to fill your time?

    I am going to laugh at you when the new in-work programme starts next year and you are made to work for your JSA.

    ReplyDelete
  9. nice editing images, well job,,, see here the real funny images at - http://www.gif-king.com/

    ReplyDelete